Last week I feel in a heap. All the zip and zing I had in my veins just seeped out overnight. I was left flat and idle, wishing I knew what to do to get it back...
I did what "they" tell you to do. I listened to my body. I slept. I ate sugar. I took great pains to move despite my lack of enthusiasm. I didn't eat sugar... Well none of that helped! I prompted myself with lists. I tried to bribe myself into action. All I got for my efforts was 'blah' and overwhelm.
So yesterday I approached things differently.
Yesterday I set my goal to do one load of laundry.
While it was in the washing machine I vowed to hang it out when it was done.
While hanging it out, I decided I'd do one more load.
While it was washing, I decided that I had to fold what I washed so that I had room for the second load on the washing line. I decided I didn't want to deal with socks and stuffed them in a pile for later. :-)
As I hung the second load, I decided I'd poke my head into my "games room" and decide on ONE thing I could do in there. (My games room is a huge source of overwhelm as it is the central collection point for all things 'junk' in my home. Its chaos. But I also have high hopes of it becoming my creative space. :-)
So my laundry hung I dare to open the door and I decide I can move a crate of stuff out of the corner to make space for something else. I moved the crate. Then I left.
I dillydallied for a while. Then I decided I would re-enter the games room and relocate the item I wanted in the corner. I did so, then left.
I bathed my children, and while I did so, I decided I would free the fridge from left overs for our dinner!
My day progressed in this manner. Doing only the next indicated task and making one decision at a time. Sometimes that decision was a task in itself so I stopped there, knowing that when I had the next little urge or energy fluctuation, I had a plan! So although by sunset my day was not filled to the brim with amazing achievement, it was not a waste. My energy was still low but I'd done something despite it. I'd taken one little action after another and another and another.
My babies went to bed and so did I.
I woke in the wee hours. I've been doing this a lot lately. My brain switches on when I should be sleeping and I lay there thinking about all those "should's" and "haven't yet's" that are on my to do lists. I start to guilt myself for all the things I "could" be doing instead of trying to sleep, since I'm obviously awake...
What I usually do is get out of bed, run a lovely hot bath and soak in the tub with my notebook and pen, intending to write lists and 'get myself together'. But instead I find myself messing about on the iPhone (Yes, I know you shouldn't use your IPhone in the bath, but I do! :-p) and later, as we get toward sunrise, I begin the mental battle of "do I get out of the bath and study?" or "do I get out of the bath and get some exercise!" BOTH are pressing issues for me at present. I've fallen behind (typically) with my study and I have not done nearly enough training for the Step Up For MS challenge that I am signed up for!
The silly thing is, by the time I've decided what to do, its getting close to the time my kids need to be up for school and I'm TIRED! So I sneak off to bed for a few minutes rest before the alarm goes off, vowing I'll study and exercise in the afternoon! WHAT A JOKE! It never happens.
But this morning when I woke in the wee hours... I didn't fall into the same trap of most mornings. This morning I applied my method of one decision at a time. I ran the bath, washed my hair and body and decided I'd play on the phone for a while. Then I decided I'd read a chapter of my textbook. Then I decided that I'd read another. Then I decided to get out and get ready for my day. :-)
Today was one of those days where things run smoothly. The kids were dressed and eating breakfast with their shoes on with no effort at all. So I decided, since I was on a roll of deciding things, to get my dishwasher running. I decided to start loading the washing machine after that. I decided to head back to the games room and move one more item to where I want it to be! By this time it was time to take my boys to school.
Now by this point, since I will have been awake for several hours, I was losing my puff. My snuggly bed was calling my name. But I decided to push through and go to my yoga class. I'm so glad I did! When it was over I was energised. I didn't need to drag myself off to volunteer at the school play group like I feared I might have to. In fact I even got into the sandpit and played with the kids for a bit! We sang and had fruit and when it was done, I walked/JOGGED home.
And now I'm feeling like I've got it back again... I've relocated my mojo! Whooohooo!
I'm not feeling overwhelmed or low on energy now. I'm feeling productive and inspired to keep doing more! And I did do more! I found my son's library book whilst tidying my desk. He'd left it behind this morning so I walk/jogged to school again to give it to him in time for his class's turn at visiting the library. :-) Yay Mama!
I'm not feeling overwhelmed or low on energy now. I'm feeling productive and inspired to keep doing more! And I did do more! I found my son's library book whilst tidying my desk. He'd left it behind this morning so I walk/jogged to school again to give it to him in time for his class's turn at visiting the library. :-) Yay Mama!
I've been thinking... When you exercise, you reach a point where you're tired or starting to hurt, but you're not at the end of the workout yet. You just have to go steadily and keep mentally telling yourself you can do it. Just one more step. Just one more after that. And another one. You can do it! One more lunge, one more step... Until you're done. And when you're done you feel amazing!
Well finding my mojo has been just like that. A whole series of one step after the next. Not focusing on anything else but the next task. One bite of the elephant at a time. All I had to do was just push on through that difficult patch to get back into the feel good zone!!!
